The Haunting Pass

Julie could not sleep. Recently it has been like that ever since she stayed over by her cousin's (Jessie) place with the boys. It was her Jessie's daughter's (Amber) 17th Birthday. Her cousin is older then her, but she is like a sister to Julie. When Julie was younger something had happend which had destroyed that sisterly bond between them and her cousin's husband (Tom) was made out to be the victim in all of it. How could a loving father, caring husband (even though he use to beat Jessie) be someone who will abuse a child, especially a child who he treated as one of his own. Well Julie grew to forgive him and my cousin had forgiven her and they had built on that sisterly bond they once had, Julie didn't know though if it was because she got married, but according to the family 'Julie was a child with a vivid imagination. 'She truly wished that it was true. Julie learnt how to deal with it and she learnt how to move on until she went to stay there. At the 17th party everyone was drinking and Tom was chatting to a family member who Julie was sitting next you. He touched her arm and told Julie's Aunt (Sally) that Julie has beautiful soft skin and if he wasn't married to Jessie then he would have married Julie. Right there and then the touch made Julie feel dirty, unclean and the pass came rushing back. Julie felt she was dealing with it all from the begining again, but she knew that it would pass and she'd succeed. Julie moved away from Tom and tried to stay out of his site, but you know how difficult that can be and he kept on asking her to dance with him. He knew Julie would not dance with him and she told him, but he insisted that she should dance with him. Julie didn't ofcourse dance with him, no way was she letting the pass come in again. The problem Julie is facing right now is that she is not interested in being intimate with Leo, well actually she is, but when Leo and Julie are intimate, she starts hearing Tom's voice in her head and she freezes. She has no feeling, no joy which she once had. Leo can't even touch her without her feeling like she wishes he would stop it now. Julie though, 'What do I do? Do I tell Leo that the pass is haunting me? Do I go on until it passes? It happens once in awhile where I am haunted by the pass, but it wears off, this time it seems to be staying around too long though. It was only a touch on the arm nothing more I can move on. I can enjoy my life and I will. Leo is a good man and he is so patient, I think he just thinks it is one of those things. I hope it is just one of those things and I get my feelings I had once back. ' Julile after sitting and writing in her diary made her way back to bed in hopes that she would be able to sleep, but she tossed and turned having nightmares every now and then. Finally she did get to sleep when she felt Leo wrap his arms around her and she knew she was safe. No harm was going to come of her.