If Only He Could Help
Julie got so angry with Leo. He doesn't realise that she needs help. To him he works all day and he thinks that he deserves to do what he pleases. Julie is so tired by the time he gets home and yet she is still busy. If Julie asks him if he could do something he tells her he is busy playing, he worked all day and needs a rest. This is after an hour, sometimes an hour an a half. Yesterday Wyatt wouldn't listen, he kept on hitting Julie and even though she'd punish him, he would carry on. When she put him in his bed he would get out and run around even though she would put him back in. she did that 30 times (she felt), putting him back in his bed and still Leo sat playing. Julie was exhuasted, she saw herself throttling Wyatt, she saw herself with such an angry expression and she saw her son with this scared look on his face. All she asked was for his dad to put his son to bed. His rest consisted of playing the whole evening, while she had to see to everything. She didn't get a break and she also works all day and not just house work or looking after the kids, but she runs her own business and it is tiring trying to keep all 3 going smoothly. Wyatt is going 4 days a week to school now which Julie is finding it very relaxing. She finally gets to do her work and some house work and she gets to spend a bit of quality time with baby Chris. Today Wyatt will have some friends over and they will watch a movie on Julie's computer while her friends and her enjoy a game of CSI board game and drink cappuccino. Yeah she learnt how to make cappuccino, thanks to her wonderful birthday gift, she was loving making cappuccino's for everyone. Sh was really enjoying all her gifts she got. Well while her baby is asleep she is off to hang up the washing and then have a bit of other housework to do. Then to make lunch and then to fetch Wyatt from school.
'HOW DO I FEEL TODAY AS A MOM', Julie thinks
'It is difficult to say how I feel today as a mom, but I can say that I am feeling confident that I will reach my goal. Like I've said in to a friend that I had a bad experience and it trashed me as a mom, but each day I have been building myself up and finding ways to better myself as a mom. I guess things happen for a reason and even though I know I cannot be the altimate mom, I know I am a mom who is trying her best, who has giving her all. My councellor wants me to face my fears. She wants me to go back onto the board, but I so fear it I don't think I can. What if I go back on and the trolls come back or people get hurt from words. I don't know what the board is like at the moment, what if it is calm, what if it is the way everyone wants it to be and then I come along and it is ruined. I hate hurting people more then I hate getting hurt. I must admit that I was afraid to have boys and I still fear them. I guess growing up with 3 brothers can have an affect on one. I also guess because I fear that I will be treated the way my mom was treated by my eldest brother, that if I have to have a daughter she would be treated the way I was treated. I still go back to the pass at times and wonder what I could have done to prevented my brother from physically abusing my mom and me. I did do something for me. I got out of it. I went to boarding school and I would do it again. I have a loving husband and even though I have 2 boys I love them dearly and I enjoy each moment with them. I try and not think of how my mom and I were treated, but try and think more on how I treat my boys and make a good loving inviroment for them. I guess there is a reason for me not having a girl, maybe I will be too protective over her. Maybe I will try and shield her so the things that happened to me won't happen to her. Maybe my past will be stronger if I have to have a girl then it is at the moment. I know boys can be abused too and in my heart I get this feeling at times that I just want to strangle a stranger that just touches my boys cheeks. I guess in this world you have to protect your children even more. Shelter them from the harm that lurks around the corners. I make it clear to Wyatt that if anyone touches him in a way that he doesn't like or touches his winkie, he must come and tell me or daddy. I even warn him that if daddy touches him in a way he doesn't like he must come and tell me. Is that wrong? Is it wrong to warn my child against his own father? I guess I tell him because of what my dad did to me and I feel that it is my duty to protect my boys even if it means protecting them against their father.'
'HOW DO I FEEL TODAY AS A MOM', Julie thinks
'It is difficult to say how I feel today as a mom, but I can say that I am feeling confident that I will reach my goal. Like I've said in to a friend that I had a bad experience and it trashed me as a mom, but each day I have been building myself up and finding ways to better myself as a mom. I guess things happen for a reason and even though I know I cannot be the altimate mom, I know I am a mom who is trying her best, who has giving her all. My councellor wants me to face my fears. She wants me to go back onto the board, but I so fear it I don't think I can. What if I go back on and the trolls come back or people get hurt from words. I don't know what the board is like at the moment, what if it is calm, what if it is the way everyone wants it to be and then I come along and it is ruined. I hate hurting people more then I hate getting hurt. I must admit that I was afraid to have boys and I still fear them. I guess growing up with 3 brothers can have an affect on one. I also guess because I fear that I will be treated the way my mom was treated by my eldest brother, that if I have to have a daughter she would be treated the way I was treated. I still go back to the pass at times and wonder what I could have done to prevented my brother from physically abusing my mom and me. I did do something for me. I got out of it. I went to boarding school and I would do it again. I have a loving husband and even though I have 2 boys I love them dearly and I enjoy each moment with them. I try and not think of how my mom and I were treated, but try and think more on how I treat my boys and make a good loving inviroment for them. I guess there is a reason for me not having a girl, maybe I will be too protective over her. Maybe I will try and shield her so the things that happened to me won't happen to her. Maybe my past will be stronger if I have to have a girl then it is at the moment. I know boys can be abused too and in my heart I get this feeling at times that I just want to strangle a stranger that just touches my boys cheeks. I guess in this world you have to protect your children even more. Shelter them from the harm that lurks around the corners. I make it clear to Wyatt that if anyone touches him in a way that he doesn't like or touches his winkie, he must come and tell me or daddy. I even warn him that if daddy touches him in a way he doesn't like he must come and tell me. Is that wrong? Is it wrong to warn my child against his own father? I guess I tell him because of what my dad did to me and I feel that it is my duty to protect my boys even if it means protecting them against their father.'
posted by DolphinC at
9:55 am
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