Where Secrets Lie

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

It Seems All Has Been Revealed

Time is short, I am extremely busy at the moment, don't have time to update this blog, but I really need a place to let out what I am feeling.

Yesterday I recieved an email from a person called your friend telling me to go to the baby site I use to chat on and all will be revealled, so not sure what they are talking about I go and read. Hurtful memeories of that day just flooded in. I could not believe what I was reading and 2 years later. 2 years of something I really did not have to read. What is the person suppose me to do thank them from just making my day hurtful. People seem to think that I have been told who sent me the email 2 years ago, but I don't till this day and when I saw the two names I was not shocked to see the one name, but shocked to see the other, but it is in the past and that is where it is needs to remain. What is upsetting is someone used my situation to get back at someone else and I am very upset about that. Yes I wanted to know who sent that email, but the way it was done was wrong. In time I hoped that who had sent it would own up and who would have let me know themselves and then maybe they could have gotten to know me better from there. It was really not nice the way the whole thing came out.

I have forgiven the person or two for what they did making me judge each day weather I am a good mom day in and day out, but each day I tell myself I do my best for my child. I went through a horrible patch in my life which everyone goes through some time in their life. I shared more then I should have on a place I felt comfortable and at home. A place where I felt that even if I got one reply gave me a bit more confidence to try the best I can, now I find that confidence within myself and my kids. I can see what sort of mom I am through them. There are days when I doubt myself, days when I close the door to one room, so I can be alone, even if it is for a second, but I know that me doing my best is what counts more then an email written years ago. This is where the email lies, this is where the horrible words, comments of a place I no longer feel comfortable posting lies. I have moved on and my boys are well and we are great.

On Saturday it is my oldest son's birthday and I am not going to let this site get me down just before his day which he is excited about.

Maybe if it is the people that were mentioned on that site that wrote that email, maybe some day they will have the dencency to let me know that they did it and maybe then we could chat about it, not on the board just the two or three of us, but for now I leave it to rest... Life is good, my boys are healthy and happy and loved.


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