Where Secrets Lie

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

My Birthday - Who Am I

My birthday was a week ago. It was nice, I went out with a very special friend which made my mid morning afternoon really nice. 4 hours with no kids, I love them, but it was heaven just having some me time. After 2pm I had to meet my husband where we then went to Macdonalds which the kids really loved, they got to play and still mommy did not have to worry about them too much as daddy took care of them. After that we came home and I slept. I was so exhuasted I needed the sleep. The evening part friends came around which we had a light meal. The boyz were excited because they got cake and sweets. They got to have a mini party. Some how though I feel I didn't do my 30th with a bang. When people turn 30 they have something special. A special party. I didn't get that. My husband isn't into parties. He isn't much for my family either. I live in two worlds. There is the world of my family and the world of my husband, but what about my world. What about what I want and I don't mean material stuff I mean my husband being happy spending time with my family. I mean him taking the time to enjoy my day. I had my 30th planned. I was gonna have a Greace party, with burgers, shakes and chips, it was gonna be my day, but that did not work out, because my husband wasn't into it. I made as if I was looking forward to turning 30, but infact I was not. I wanted something, I wanted my 30th to be special, but it was not. Friends told me that they were depressed when they turned 30. It was just another day for me. Yes my friend made it special and the wishes made it special, but one thing that I enjoyed dancing "my Greace Party" Karaoke Party did not happen. I'm moving on, but I still want to have something with the family, but still my husband does not, it cost money, it's too expensive, it this, its that. I hate it. I truly hate it. How can we be so different. I feel like I am lost, like I don't know myself anymore. Who am I?


Post a Comment

<< Home