Am I The Only One That Doesn't See It

Boys will be boys, right? Well not to some. How am I suppose to feel confidence when Granny makes a comment like this to Daddy? 'You were never this naughty when you were that age.' To me Toddler is being a boy. Now to her apparently he is out of control. Honestly to me he is just being a toddler. He climbs, he screams, he runs, he is just playing. Yes he sometimes gets carried away and can sometimes hurt a person, but I descipline him and do the best I can. He must take after me. Sheesh it made me so angry that I punished Toddler for making a noise and all he was doing was playing with one of Baby's toys, but just because Granny didn't want noise he was being naughty. Another thing that frustrates me is the fact that why am I the one to blame. Why am I the one who is looked at as the bad person. Why on earth doesn't Daddy support me? Does he too think that I am not doing a good job? Maybe Toddler is active, but what would one expect when his father sits and plays games or is on his computer all day, who doesn't take the time to play with Toddler. To him children are a pain and they ruin his life. I feel how am I suppose to do this on my own. Sometimes I just want to walk out that door and leave him with the boys so he can feel what it is like. It is as if the boys are my responsibility and mine alone. The last few days I was extremely busy and Toddler went to the toilet and needed his bum to be wiped. I asked Daddy to go and help him and his reactions was 'I can't I am working.' He knew I had to get the stuff out the next morning. I landed up working till 4am. Why because no matter if I am working in his eyes I stay at home all day. In his eyes the kids are my responsibility. No matter how much I love doing what I am doing, I feel like just giving up and being the 'maid' in this family. I grew up being one, so why not carry on being one. In his own way he is a good dad and a good husband. Who knows who are what I would have married. I might have married someone who beats me up, who brings me down every second he can, someone who drinks and can't hold onto his job. A person like my father, but I didn't marry someone like my father. I married a man that does respect me, even though I feel like he can support me more. I married a man who will harm whoever harms me. I keep chatting to him about how he really needs to spend more time with Toddler. Maybe when Toddler is older he will feel more comfortable. I don't know, I guess only time can tell. People say you should look after yourself, put yourself first before you look after your kids or put your kids first. Well my opinion is: If I don't put my kids first, who is going? Who is going to look after them if I look after myself? I don't have time sometimes to brush my teeth in the morning. Or time to make myself look good, because I am juggling between two kids. To be yourself, to take care of yourself, to put yourself first, you need support. You need your spouse to help out with the kids. You need someone who can take them for a few hours so you can pamper yourself, but I don't have that. Yes a friend helps with Toddler. She love Toddler as if he is her son. I don't know what I'd do without her, but I don't have someone to take Baby. When I want to relax in the bath my relaxation is a quick bath, then I'm out and back to taking care of Baby. I think this is where I wish Daddy would take the time to take care of Baby for an hour or so each day, but instead I get very little time. Daddy did look after Baby for a whole day, but then I had Toddler with me. Last week Sunday I was suppose to go to a Tea Party and I didn't go, because Daddy didn't want to look after both of them. I either had to take Toddler or Baby with me.

I have been really proud of Toddler he has been going to bed all by himself and I finally got Daddy to do something. He READS to Toddler before switching off the lights. Toddler also has been going to bed early, by 8:30pm he is in bed and before you know it he is asleep. Well now I'm off to feed Baby then going to go and sleep some more. The life of a mother is never easy, but joyful and happy.