Poems From The Past 2

CHANGING THE PAST

The time has come to put the past behind
It may not be easy
but it's worth the try
I cannot live in the past
as it is not important
as living in the future
Life might seem confused
and things might go wrong
but living in a family
a family that belongs to God
a family that assures things will change
I might not be perfect
and feel that I don't belong
but some where along the line
My heart feels right
There's nothing as great
as being happy
and knowing someone cares
Someone who reaches out a hand each day
and nothing is as important
as taking hold of it
It feels really good to know
that we aren't alone
in a world that turned out bad

HAPPINESS ON THE OTHER SIDE

I heard her voice on the phone
a voice that sounded concern
concerned for her children
I've never heard it before
as it always felt as if she rejected them
never wanting to get involved
and when she did
She made them feel bad
They loved her
but it seemed as if she hated them
It felt as if they were a problem in her life
Making her life a living hell
The young one was confused
She did not know what to do
She felt it was all her fault
The blame was pushed on her
She grew up with the hurt
and longed to hear some happiness
but all she heard was angry voices
telling her what to do
her mother was no longer there
She became someone who had to get the blame
but when she opened up
her world began to change
and happiness filled her life
and just hearing happiness on the other side
was a big change for her

MATHS TEACHER

I do not like Maths
especially the teacher
He makes me feel uncomfortable
and always seems to ignore me
He seems to think he can rule us
and tell us what to do
He doesn't hear what we have to say
He makes us feel like a loser
as if there is no hope
He goes over one sum
almost the whole period
and still we do not understand
a thing that he has said
Instead of saying poraboula
He says barabolae
It really sounds funny
The way he says these things
but still he is no use to me
My head is like a maze
that hasn't got a glue
what to do
He is confused
and wrse of all
I am too
Who ever said that Maths is great
when someone from Transvaal
Thinks he knows it all
He should try something else
Maybe then he will be liked
but at the moment he'll forever
be the Teacher who confuses everyone

A LITTLE VOICE TOLD ME

I heard a little voice
Telling me that someone cares
Someone who is tall
and has black hair
someone who has a great smile
a smile that will make
everyone want to be in his presence
A smile that especially warms my heart
and makes me feel good inside
But that is not all
this little voice told me
It told me that this person love's me
at first it was hard to believe
but then I've realised
that this person loves me very much
Love a word that hurt me before
but now it is a love that warms my heart
and makes me want to love too
this little voice also told me
that this person's also special
and this little voice is right
as he is special to me...

NIGHTMARES

Nightmares how did it come about
to stick with her for life
It all happened when a little girl was hurt
That's how it all began
A hopeless little girl
who had no power to fight
A girl who got the blame
for things that all went wrong
A girl who feared her life
but did not know how to solve the problem
and then the nightmare began
she was all alone
far from the city
alone amongst nowhere
well nowhere menaing she never had a clue
No one was around
The world just kept on turning
and only she was there
but then she sensed someone was close
someone was watching her
someone who she knew
and her world became a world of two
a world where hurt changed into pain
She couldn't get away
she was trapped in his lions arms
that's how her world had changed
and nightmares became a game

BEING AROUND PEOPLE

I see a crowd of people
happy and cheerful
I wish I could join them
but I feel so insecure
Nobody understands
except the ones that have been hurt
The ones that have gone through the same pain
or even worse
I think of those whose been hurt
and knowing that I will never be able to help
I love being around people
but it's just won't happen
when I'm around them
I want to get away
I want to curl up into a ball
and hide myself from them
ido not want to do it
but it just happens
and no one understands
except those who have been hurt

(When I read this poem I think of the board I was on and how much I have shared that and how I actually felt like I stepped out of the fear zone of being around people and then when I got that email I felt that urge to retreat which I did and curl back into my shell and shut the world once again out. Now I am healing and slowly opening up again and stepping out into the crowd, but yet I'll always have the fear that I will always be in the wrong. I know I cannot be right all the time, but I know that life is short and being in a shell does not help you be the person that you are, it only makes you think of waht a bad person you are and you don't think of what a good person you are. So take the time [Like I did] and write down 10 good things you love about yourself. If you think something negative write it down, but then stop writing and put your list away and start again the next day, until you get to a point where all you are thinking is 10 good things about yourself. When I started I thought, this is easy I can do it, but found myself stopping after I only wrote 2 good things about myself and writing 3 bad things about myself. I finally got to my ten and when I feel bad for example I feel like I am fat. I look at the ten good things about myself and I tell myself I'll get to where I want to be in my weight, but as long as I feel good about myself the weight is not an issue. Persevere, hold on fast to the good things in your life and enjoy each day as they come. You will reach your goals and you'll find that your 10 list of good things about yourself will become an endless list of good things.