Secrets
Do you have secrets?
Yes I have secrets. I have secrets from all my friends that told me stuff. To me keeping a secret when someone tells you something is important, because that person has confided in you. I have one secret of my own which I don't care to share with people, that is a secret that is just for me. It isn't a bad secret, but it is a secret.
Is it important to keep secrets?
I think it all depends. Like the time when I wa being hurt and was told to keep it a secret. I couldn't keep it a secret as it just felt wrong. Not all secrets are good and not all secrets should be kepts, but when it comes to my friends I think no matter what the secret is, I should keep it a secret until they are the ones that are ready to let it out.
Now what if a friend is being abused and she confides in you, do you speak to someone about it or do you keep it a secret? Would you risk your friendship and hope she comes around and forgives you?
I don't think it is my place to go and speak to someone about it. I think it is my place to help her, to make her report what is happening to her. No I don't think what is happening to her is right. I could never report it without the person's consent. I'd rather her still be my friend then have her hate me forever and I am not just saying it, I know what it is like to have your trust broken and I could never risk our friendship and hope that she can forgive me. Especially if she had been a good friend and had kept your secrets.
Did you ever report a secret that you were suppose to keep a secret?
I had told someone about my best friend who was being abused. From that day we had not been good friends. We've had tension between us ever since. She had become withdrawn and from still today we are not friends no matter how hard I tried to be her friend or to be there for her she had shut me out. If I had the choice of making things right I would have never have reported the abuse. It only made her life worse then what it was and I became the bad one. To this day she had never told anyone about what had happend to me and because of that I am thankful which I told her.
Secrets to me is important, but being there for a person and helping them through tough times is even more important. I'd rather be there next time then push them away and let them push you away.
Even when I had confided in someone about what was happening in my life, my trust was broken and that person had spoken to my mom. Do you know what it is like to have someone not believe you. The person who you confided in and then your own mother. My life became hell and from that day I understood what my friend was going through when I had reported her abuse. I hated everyone around me and I found that there was no one I could chat to. All I wanted was someone who I could confide in, someone who would listen to me, someone who could guide me as I decide what is the best option would be. I didn't want someone who was going to confront my issues, I didn't want someone who was going to tell the person if it happens again then there will be drastic meassures. I didn't want the person to get my mom and make me tell the details in front of her. I felt sick and even though it was the second time I seeked helped and again I was let down my world became even more of a crumbled cake. I had my brother perade in front of me naked, hitting me and asking me 'am I abusing you, am I, am I, so why do you tell lies.' I had this family and that family member hitting me, from the youngest to the oldests. Do you know what it is like to be pinned down and hit by drunk people, your body is sore for ages. Do you know what it is like to have your only sister hate you so much and not believe you? Do you know what it is like to have no one come to your baptist, because they weren't interested in what happend to you because you have nothing better to do in your life but 'make up lies'. It is hard, it is difficult. Trying to prove that you aren't a liar, you aren't stupid.
Do you know what it feels like when you think you failled? When your report card had been tampered with and you get a hiding because you didn't pass, you get told you stupid, useless why were you ever born. Just thinking about it hurts, but I persevere and I move on and having gone through that makes me so paranoid when it comes to my kids. I try and find a balance. Where I don't tell them that they are stupid when they can't do something, but rather that they did their best and maybe next time it will be better. I wish I had the encouragement that I had tried my best, but at least I know what is best for my kids, what diffinately wasn't best for me.
Secrets are important and keeping it is important. Think about the person's life. The person's situation. If the person isn't taken out of the situation then don't let them get hurt even more. Like my friend and I. We weren't taken out of the situation and things got worse for us. The only time things got better for me was when I had people helping me, people who were there to listen to me, people who didn't go behind my back and chat to my mom or sister. I had a wonderful pastor who got me away from the hurt that was being caused to me. He got me sponsors to go to a lovely school that to me was freedom compared to what home was. Have a 10pm curfew was great for me. I had structure. I had security and only then was I as a person able to heal. It is important to know the person's situation complete, to know their pain and to know what they want instead of making your own decisions on what is right for them.
Yes I have secrets. I have secrets from all my friends that told me stuff. To me keeping a secret when someone tells you something is important, because that person has confided in you. I have one secret of my own which I don't care to share with people, that is a secret that is just for me. It isn't a bad secret, but it is a secret.
Is it important to keep secrets?
I think it all depends. Like the time when I wa being hurt and was told to keep it a secret. I couldn't keep it a secret as it just felt wrong. Not all secrets are good and not all secrets should be kepts, but when it comes to my friends I think no matter what the secret is, I should keep it a secret until they are the ones that are ready to let it out.
Now what if a friend is being abused and she confides in you, do you speak to someone about it or do you keep it a secret? Would you risk your friendship and hope she comes around and forgives you?
I don't think it is my place to go and speak to someone about it. I think it is my place to help her, to make her report what is happening to her. No I don't think what is happening to her is right. I could never report it without the person's consent. I'd rather her still be my friend then have her hate me forever and I am not just saying it, I know what it is like to have your trust broken and I could never risk our friendship and hope that she can forgive me. Especially if she had been a good friend and had kept your secrets.
Did you ever report a secret that you were suppose to keep a secret?
I had told someone about my best friend who was being abused. From that day we had not been good friends. We've had tension between us ever since. She had become withdrawn and from still today we are not friends no matter how hard I tried to be her friend or to be there for her she had shut me out. If I had the choice of making things right I would have never have reported the abuse. It only made her life worse then what it was and I became the bad one. To this day she had never told anyone about what had happend to me and because of that I am thankful which I told her.
Secrets to me is important, but being there for a person and helping them through tough times is even more important. I'd rather be there next time then push them away and let them push you away.
Even when I had confided in someone about what was happening in my life, my trust was broken and that person had spoken to my mom. Do you know what it is like to have someone not believe you. The person who you confided in and then your own mother. My life became hell and from that day I understood what my friend was going through when I had reported her abuse. I hated everyone around me and I found that there was no one I could chat to. All I wanted was someone who I could confide in, someone who would listen to me, someone who could guide me as I decide what is the best option would be. I didn't want someone who was going to confront my issues, I didn't want someone who was going to tell the person if it happens again then there will be drastic meassures. I didn't want the person to get my mom and make me tell the details in front of her. I felt sick and even though it was the second time I seeked helped and again I was let down my world became even more of a crumbled cake. I had my brother perade in front of me naked, hitting me and asking me 'am I abusing you, am I, am I, so why do you tell lies.' I had this family and that family member hitting me, from the youngest to the oldests. Do you know what it is like to be pinned down and hit by drunk people, your body is sore for ages. Do you know what it is like to have your only sister hate you so much and not believe you? Do you know what it is like to have no one come to your baptist, because they weren't interested in what happend to you because you have nothing better to do in your life but 'make up lies'. It is hard, it is difficult. Trying to prove that you aren't a liar, you aren't stupid.
Do you know what it feels like when you think you failled? When your report card had been tampered with and you get a hiding because you didn't pass, you get told you stupid, useless why were you ever born. Just thinking about it hurts, but I persevere and I move on and having gone through that makes me so paranoid when it comes to my kids. I try and find a balance. Where I don't tell them that they are stupid when they can't do something, but rather that they did their best and maybe next time it will be better. I wish I had the encouragement that I had tried my best, but at least I know what is best for my kids, what diffinately wasn't best for me.
Secrets are important and keeping it is important. Think about the person's life. The person's situation. If the person isn't taken out of the situation then don't let them get hurt even more. Like my friend and I. We weren't taken out of the situation and things got worse for us. The only time things got better for me was when I had people helping me, people who were there to listen to me, people who didn't go behind my back and chat to my mom or sister. I had a wonderful pastor who got me away from the hurt that was being caused to me. He got me sponsors to go to a lovely school that to me was freedom compared to what home was. Have a 10pm curfew was great for me. I had structure. I had security and only then was I as a person able to heal. It is important to know the person's situation complete, to know their pain and to know what they want instead of making your own decisions on what is right for them.
posted by DolphinC at
2:17 am
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